A poor excuse for a man

i really hate lambasting people as much as i can help it. i know people knew me well enough that when i am angry i will not be able to hide or mask the emotions that i have and so these kinds of emotional bursts come in to my consciousness.

pardon me for using such a title but as far as i know that is the best way i can describe such a person. i have harnessed these emotions for quite a while now and needless to say i am so over all the things that had happened a couple of months ago but for them to resurface now? why you might ask.

well the thing is, the man i was talking about doesn't seem to know the word "respect". R-E-S-P-E-C-T so plain and simple, its like having the decency to be courteous to someone either a friend, a foe, your boss most importantly and even your ex's after all they're also human.

what i really don't understand is how come something this universal can't be practiced by majority of people. so why am i like this? well it is simply because someone hadn't respected my personal property. how?

well let me tell you a short story (i would really try to make it short i promise)

once i knew a man who had been very close to me, we shared a lot of stuff and i also thought that we had shared more than that but it was all just a misunderstanding or some foolishness born of his oversized ego. i have purchased a similar garment for the both of us to use and when we broke up or fell apart or whatever you might call it both garments stayed in his hands.

i have returned all his stuff to him in one piece when he had requested for it and totally forgot about that garment when some time my brother wanted to borrow it i would really want him to have it i said but i failed to remember it wasn't in my possession any longer. but the reason he asked me for it was because he saw a couple of pictures of the same man and a different woman wearing the matching garment. at that point i really didn't believe him and had to see it for my very own eyes and it dawned on me.

how cruel could this man be? or how insensitive could he ever get? i have pardoned everything he had done and had just entrusted everything to fate but in the end of it all he still doesn't have the slightest idea what respect truly means. maybe it would have been better if he had offered to return that garment to me, i'm not after the one i gave to him because i gave it already but the other one was mine and if anyone has the right to give it away, use it or destroy it, that is no other than i.

i am not maligning him as a person but i'm sure even if you would ask someone else the only best thing to do is to return such and i would even guess if the woman had known where it came from she would deny wearing it or to have it because it would not be kind to do such thing.

well i am over that right now that i have released my response. just think how can you even give yourself a chance or how on earth would the world give you the chance if still in the future you deviate from the proper thing to do.

the world does not brand ex-cons or other criminals because they were behind bars for a period of time, it's just they lose the essence of humanity and leave it behind those bars. people give chances to those who deserve them not to the ones who want or demand them.

if you have learned your lesson you wouldn't commit the same mistakes again. there is just one key to be able to live peacefully in this world and that is to learn how to respect other people no matter how small, evil or how much they have hurt you in the past.

as far as i am concerned i have been silent for the longest time and haven't blamed anyone for the choices i have made nor the consequences that had followed and i can clearly and honestly say that i have not in anyway trampled the dignity of that man nor have accused him of anything in anyway possible. and that is the only way i can show that i still am capable of respecting such being, but i could not stoop down one more level it had been highly degrading and very uncharacteristical.

i no longer have demands for such garment, i would just want to express my deepest regret for the person wearing it if she doesn't know the real story behind it. maybe she was made to believe it was bought for her or something.

i cannot blame another person for the mistakes another one have made me, i am not made to do such.

and to those people who are asking why can't they be happy, the answer is simple you are not doing things the proper way you are still intertwining your lives with complications. telling the truth is very important, having the guts to say it, is for me such a very noble and brave act. maybe in telling the truth you might be able to find something real. there are enough shadows, cobwebs and loose ends, i think it's about time you stand up and face your demons and not hide from them because no matter what you do they will haunt you unless you put closure to them in a manner a real man would.

i just remember a line from Glenn Close in the series Damages, a certain man was harassing her and that man said "if you were a man i would kick you." and her reply?

"if you were a man i would be frightened."

clearly not all men are created equal some of them have high regard for themselves which they truly deserve for making the right choices and some of them doesn't even have the balls to do such.

it just ends here today, i still wish him to be happy with whatever endeavors he wanted to pursue in his life, wishing him the best that life could hopefully bring, i still chose to preserve your anonymity as a sign of my good faith and respect. i just hope you do well and make the right choices from here on. i did not do this to damn you although it might have have hurt your ego fairly as i wished it would (but might probably be not as close to mine) but i still believe everyone deserves a chance and i think you should start using it wisely before you run out of it.