Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Constellations

The four corners of the wall seemed immovable. The gloom that has once encompassed this space seemed to exist no more and once again I found myself in that deep state of elation that is simply incomparable.

Something shuffled on the bed and I saw you move from under the covers. The mere sight of you certainly makes me weak, I can see how you aimlessly tried to move your hand in search of something that should've been there beside you and as you did you moved up your head and opened your amazing eyes slowly brushing your hair from them and started surveying the room.

Your eyes finally landed on me, sitting still in the couch, I know you are trying to focus your vision and you beckoned me to come closer and signalling that I need to come reach out to your hand.

You. Amaze. Me.

There had only been moments in my life that I want to relive, but by far this one has to top the list. I can't seem to find the words to tell you how much I adore you. It's like my whole body is reacting to the mere sight of you and wanting to be near you so bad. This wanting is torture, slowly erupting and igniting every senses I have and making it much clearer to me now, how important you have become in my existence.

It's not the mere gaze that your wonderful eyes give, nor the haughtiness of your stance that makes me feeling so wreckless. The wonderful persona I have been able to chance upon and the acceptance you made me feel deeply captivated me. The calming feeling I get when I hear the sound of your voice sends me in a state of hypnosis I don't really wanna get over with.

Are you another shooting star who would color a night in my life and leave me empty for the rest of it?
 If I could, I would want to have a wish right now and that is for you to be part of a wonderful constellation.

I moved closer and slowly as you try to make faces. I started to pout my lips and act as if disgusted by your stubborness, but at the moment you held my hand you pulled me fast towards you.

I fell on you.

I fell for you.

"Good morning sweety"

I heard you say, as you tried to pull me closer to your chest, I looked at your wonderful eyes and put my hand on your bare chest. I can feel your steady heartbeat and the warmness of your skin against mine.

"Lovely morning dear" was my reply.

I lay there still as your embrace tightens, I can feel my body slowly weakening again and your aura enveloping me deep within. My hands slowly tracing your lips as I continue to wonder how such a beautiful thing ended up in my presence on a lovely Sunday morning.

"I love you" I gently whispered in your ear.

I realized I was never waiting for you to answer me back because I am contented in having just this moment with you and I can enjoy it for as long as I can. I am never good in relationships, in keeping them anyway, I am more content in knowing that at least once a page of my life has been doodled on by a curious little cherub.

Planting a gentle kiss on your lips is hard to recover from, but it's harder for me not to.

Slowly I turned my back and start to stand up when again you caught me half way and hugged me, I can feel the pressure on your touch, the deep emotions you want to unleash and I understood that you wanted me to stay even just for a while. I ceased to move and let your head rest on my shoulder, making your slow deep breaths noticeable. Your lips barely touching the back of my neck and your hands circling my body.

"I want you in my life" were the words I was definitely not expecting to hear.

A long pause and I heaved a sigh as I muster enough courage to tell you "I am here as long as you want me to."

With that I turned towards you and smiled as we made love in the blissful Sunday morning.

“Things are as they are. Looking out into it the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.”


- Allan Watts

Note: This post is purely fiction.

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