Saturday, July 10, 2010

Random Beliefs


I can't believe how much random thoughts I have written. These would definitely describe the workings of my mind and they have made my living pretty much easier to interpret. They might sometimes be downright stupid or probably too angry, but I am just being true. 


1. I believe my life is a big mess of things, I have decided to collect over time. Every bits and pieces of torment, joy and pain I took pride in. Life is hard, but who says it's not worth living? 


2. I've always tried to live out people's expectations of ME. Sometimes, I just want to SCREW UP and FAIL but I still choose not to. Failure is not what breaks me, but the successes I have achieved. Somehow I felt I AM NEVER ENOUGH, and I ALWAYS HAD TO DO MORE. It's so frustrating.


3. I was never good at conforming. I never found the reason to anyway. I think that's why God gave us free will, to believe and do things the way we want to... we just tend to slack off at times and we never exercise our full potential.


4. The fear of losing control is dangerous as the disease itself. Fear keeps us doubting instead of hoping. Looking down instead of up. 

5. Can't and Hate. Two words I will never teach my son. Words that have been weaved in my system, that's why I am facing difficulties in doing certain things. They are however, difficult to unlearn. I am trying.


6. A relationship doesn't need any promises, terms or conditions, it just need two wonderful people..."one who can trust" & "one who can understand"


7. I love the moments when I'm actually telling the truth, but my friends need to stop and question my comment to make sure it wasn't sarcastic.


8. I was scared of stuff I didn't understand, things I cannot control. But I realized it was always the "ME" that had stopped my own growth.


9. It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis. I don't know how long it lasts, but to me what's important is I'm happy as it's happening... now.


10. I can be wise or dumb, positive or negative, beautiful or ugly, kind or mean, funny or dull. I'm only as good to you as how you perceive me to be. But to me, I am all of that and more.


11. The statistical ratio between girls and boys doesn't justify polygamy or anything to that level at all. It also doesn't mean that because women are more liberated today, men should take chance at every girl they meet and wait till they get lucky!


12. The word CAN'T is not in my vocabulary. However, there is the word WON'T. I may be dareable, but I'm definitely not gullible, I choose my battles.


13. ‎"There are no such thing as wrong decisions, only those you failed to stand up for" - the only credo I've lived up to, told to me by my brilliant college professor.


14. I think that other people's impression of me is not exactly my business. And frankly, I don't really care.


15. Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. So, why am I happy? Simply because I deserve it. YOU deserve it too. ü


16. I really don't think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don't mind the failure but I can't imagine that I'd forgive myself if I didn't try.


17. Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of my life that I expect it to always be there, because I can't remember a time in my life when it wasn't. But then one day I feel something else, something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar. And in that moment I realize I'm happy.


18. Sometimes i wonder if anything's absolute anymore. Is there still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable, left to interpretation, or grey. Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth, transform it, cause we're faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes things simply catch up to us.

 

19. ‎"It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that." - That's why I'm a nonconformist.

 

20. I have an attitude and I definitely know how to use it. Go figure!


21. Why would you tire yourself in chasing something, that when finally you can trap it in between your palms you would choose to set free?


22. Love is often an escape, a mere menagerie of false hopes and faint illusions of forevers, of prince charmings and happy endings. One cannot stand hoping for that time to come although they promise to, there is no such thing as forever, for one cannot live that long.


23. Love is unconditional, but at times it is vicious, enabling us to concoct the most devious plots just to get our hands on it or to feel the love that we wanted to be reciprocated even for a moment. Love can be selfish, in many possible ways and yet it chooses not to for selfishness is not synonymous to happiness. 


24. I love being single... it gives you the license to enjoy clothes more! ü - And this will of course top my list.

We can only try to figure out other people but we will not be able to in any way, and even if I have opened this facet of my personality to you, you still won't be able to know the whole of me. 

If you would ask me the question "What are you?"

My only reply would be.

I. AM. COMPLICATED.

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