Monday, February 21, 2011

Patience and Frustrations

Dearest Aeon,

Yesterday, I woke up to your screams. It's not that unusual since you and Mamita are always fighting when it comes to taking a bath, you don't seem to be much too fond of it at first but after being dunked in water you don't seem to want to stop bathing, thus another strife between the two of you. It was different this time though, it made me jump out of bed and take you into my wing.

Mamita has just slapped you...

I don't know how I was able to tell but I just knew I had to come to your aid.

I saw the two of you and I was calling out to you to reach out for me. Mamita was shocked and I can tell by her expression that she's not happy with what I have done, but I didn't bother, I had to get you out of there, out of her reach for a while.

I'm deeply sorry for not being the one to take care of you everyday, your Mamita loves you so much, but she is just frustrated at the time and her patience is not really working very well at times. I am never that good in consoling her and making her feel at ease, your Mamita is much too inhibited that she doesn't know how to express herself very much nor how to channel her emotionalities. She threw me a look of contempt and told me to take care of you if I'm not okay with how she is taking care of you.

I am not writing you this to tell you about how you should hate your Mamita, it's quite the opposite, I am telling you how people can be hard to understand at times and we must not in anyway fall in the trap of anger and loathing.

As soon as I got you all dried up, I clothed and fed you while Mamita sat on a corner and I think she was analyzing how she reacted to your childish ways. I didn't shout at Mamita nor did I brought up things that would probably prolong the conflict, sometimes we just have to keep quiet for a moment and make people realize, think and reflect on their actions, they will figure it out sooner and would calm down eventually without worsening the whole scenario.

Mamita, she feels pain too and there are a lot of conflicts that she has been thinking about. I am unable to help her with all of it, though I try to reassure her every time that it's gonna be okay and there's nothing really to fear, but still I am guilty because I am not ready to ask her what they are and the reason is that I don't know if I will be able to offer any solution and I am afraid to give her false hopes.

Frustrations... One thing I can tell you is that everybody is frustrated on something, we just have to learn how to properly displace this emotion.

TRY NOT to take out your anger on other people especially to those who loves you.

(As I am writing you this, I am contemplating on putting up a punching bag in our house so that either of us would take all the aggression and frustration on that thing instead on each other or something else, I would still have to figure it out.)

I am not very patient, although of course I do try my best when it comes to you. Someday, I would probably be unable to control my anger, we would probably have our bouts and your aggression would topple my patience or however that scenario would go, but I just want you to remember that sudden bursts of overwhelming emotions are not the only basis of how one loves you, it is the accumulation of the times we've spent together and I do love you in many ways.

REMEMBER that although people we love would act stupid, dumb or totally mess up, it's TEMPORARY, it's part of who they are and we should learn how to accept them at those times in which they needed us the most.

Probably when I grow older and like menopausal (when my hormones are no longer working the way they are supposed to *gulp!*) I might lose patience easily and be depressed most of the time, that's why I want you to know how I feel now as far as my open mind can process.

Mamita and I love you so much. When you grow up, you would meet other people that would probably give you frustrations and may test your patience, it's part of life... it's part of living... dealing with the stress of the moment.

I left the house for an hour, to give ample time for the two of you to recover and when I got back I saw you sleeping side by side embracing each other. ^_^

People are not always ready to listen to what we think they needed to hear, this is my 2nd letter to you but I have no idea which one you would need first.

I am in the process of learning things and I am aiming to transfer the rawest of them to you as soon as I have learned how to deal with them. Learn from my mistakes and try to make your own (it pays to be original my dearest ü).

I love you so much.

Ina


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