Friday, March 18, 2011

But I AM Present

Leo Buscaglia is one of the authors I admire the most, he's not creating novels to reflect upon, he just merely exhausted his lifetime on trying to open people's minds into what I like to call 'How to be' and did his best to let people know the beauty of living the REAL life. He doesn't exactly have the happy endings or best of times to boot, but I can really find depth into the simple words he scribbled and the experiences he shared whether it be about life, love, education or simply being or becoming.

In one of his books I came across a poem from a girl who committed suicide when she was 20 years old, her name is Michelle and this is because she felt the people around her doesn't value her as her, but rather they all want her to be someone... someone she found so hard to identify with. She died in 1967 and she wrote 25 poems, a little book that was published to probably create an awareness for us on how we should treat the people around us, specially those who try their best to be what we want them to be.

I Am Neither A Sacrilege Or A Privilege. I May Not Be Competent or Excellent, But I Am Present.
By -Michelle

My happiness is me, not you.
Not only because you may be temporary,
But also because you want me to be what I am not.
I cannot be happy when I change
Merely to satisfy your selfishness.
Nor can I feel content when you criticise me
for not thinking your thoughts,
Or for seeing like you do.
You call me a rebel.
And yet each time I have rejected your beliefs
You have rebelled against mine.
I do not try to mold your mind.
I know you are trying hard enough to be just you.
And I cannot allow you to tell me what to be-
for I am concentrating on being me.
You said that I was transparent
And easily forgotten.
But why then did you try to use my lifetime,
To prove to yourself who you are?

For me, I think love is not about potentiality, like thinking of how fine a person they can be in the long run although at some point we may be lead to believe in that way. Love is about accepting a person for what they already are, slowly discovering each other and growing together, changing hand in hand, adjusting and compromising. It's not falling for the idea of a person or love. There's just no buts, ifs or maybes that should be present. It's about someone affecting you in such a way that you can live without them, but you would be too encompassed in their being that you would choose not to.

When you expose yourself to someone, you risk the chance for that someone to cause you pain and suffering.

But you do.

WE all do.

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