Tuesday, April 5, 2011

April Fooled You

I got this message on April 1st as I was sifting through my mail:

Happy April Fools' Day. These 5 people:

*are good matches with you.
*are all probably the kind of person you'd grow to hate after a while

Think of them as great divorce material.

It was April Fool's Day, I so know. I didn't try to take any action made by people that day seriously, specially since most of them would play on their relationship statuses. I posted a status message on Facebook claiming I am pregnant, but no one bought it and I saw my aunt as one of the people who liked it (pfft! so much for a joke).

Later that night on the way out of the office, I got on the elevator with one of our managers and he just commented something like,

"That was a banging April Fools joke you did earlier" while grinning.
"You think? Well nobody bought it really." I shrugged.
"Well because we know you're not the promiscuous type anyway." he said matter-of-factly.

I laughed. I don't know if that's part of his April Fools' joke and he just pulled a fast one on me, but man it made my day.

It was a Friday too, meaning I ought to be out partying and stuff, but I found myself bidding my bestfriend goodbye and a wishing her luck (for her date, AJA!) since the guy agreed to meet him in front of a church down south, she was anticipating some sort of surprise, but I think it's not much of a big deal, still I'm the supportive bestfriend so I made a face and told her she's gonna be alright.

I got so used to having her around, an 'us' sort of thing, so with things picking up for her I have to take a back seat and let her do her stuff.

I went out to meet someone anyway, after much coaxing (just saying, I was actually in an argument with myself. haha) and we ended up roadtripping to Tagaytay, but the thing is we never arrived to our destination, we got lost somewhere and just decided to drive back to Manila, with our bag of groceries, half a bottle of Jose Cuervo (which we didn't really drink much, but was spilled all over the car!) and Mc Donald's take out.

I am used to being in the passenger seat, I have claimed that spot for 5 years. It's a weird feeling. I am just existing but I wasn't connecting or saying much. It was much like how it happened before and I got my head around it, decided to leave things as they were.

As soon as I reached home minor headaches are starting to occur, but I haven't really had a hangover ever (because I don't drink much anyway). But I was in some sort of reverie, maybe I am just trying to sublimate, because I have to adjust and give people the space they need in order for them to grow and to achieve a certain level of fulfillment.

At the back of my mind I am worried. I have four bestfriends. A girl, a guy, a gay and a lesbian bestfriend, I've got the best of all worlds (grin), but I want them around more and it's sometimes selfish.

My gay bestfriend was basically with me since he was born, I am like his older sister and his mother is my Godmother, but I don't have anything to do with him being gay as far as I know coz I am pretty boyish while he forever tries to curl my hair and change my do.

My girl bestfriend I met since I was in college, we didn't really hit it off that much until we matured and we started understanding each other. There's a certain level of agreement and an unwritten form of love and acceptance in the communication we share.

My guy bestfriend I met around 6 years ago. He's everything a guy can be and yet he has been caring and sensitive. He was also the one who accompanied me through some major milestones while I was pregnant, he would accompany me to check ups so that I won't suffer much of the insults from discriminating people, but we started to drift because of irregularities in schedules and life in general.

My lesbian bestfriend I met around 3 years ago, she has helped me deal with a lot of stuff and is always on the call. We shared a lot of things together while working with each other.

With bestfriends, you don't really need to be around them a lot to know that they care or to validate that you matter to them, it just happens when you meet, a lot has changed but you don't have to stress on it because you would be so busy babbling about a lot of things, catching up and feel like you were just together yesterday.

I can easily make friends with people. I think. There's this unusual level of trust given to me at certain points at which I don't know if I am really ready to have but they give it willingly so I have nothing to do but to try my best to take care of it. It's really nice when you think about it.

I love them so much, sometimes I get so overprotective.

I remember the instance last week when my girl bestfriend went out with a guy and I was the third wheel. I talked to him when she was in the restroom and it was a sort of an agreement you make with a brother (she doesn't have a brother, so I took over). When she arrived I was on the part of letting him know that even if I am not so menacing I can still kick serious ass, so he shouldn't dare hurt her OR ELSE! Fair warning right?

He seemed like a nice guy really and I can see that she's really happy, so I am crossing my fingers and wishing that this is something that hopefully lasts. Everybody seemed to be in the business of falling in love these days (teehee). Lately we haven't been really together although we're on the same building and roughly the same shift. My mom says it's weird that we even text each other that we miss each other. (oh well, we're not normal anyway)

So for me, since my accomplice isn't gonna be going out much because of certain developments in her life, I would probably lie low. In 3 months I have gone out more than I did in like two years combined (2009 and 2010). It has been fun-filled, interesting and most of all, totally unforgettable.

There's always a sort of thrill and excitement when you step over lines and cross boundaries.

I'm fine for now.
I got my fix.
Back to the bat cave.

I don't have any idea what the future holds, it's better that way. I love surprises anyway.

I think you have a rough idea that I'm not gonna be stuck.

I would still take risks from time to time. It's inevitable.

The blanket of security seems promising, but not for me.

I'm still in love.

It's the most wonderful thing!

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