One More High


It happened again today.

While busy making plans, progress and whatnots. A feeling you can't simply ignore, the wanting for that one more high.

It has escaped my consciousness for quite some time, little did I know, it has been building up getting ready for a comeback. It wasn't just the nostalgia, the flashbacks, the memories that I have attached to you, it's also the feeling that I get to experience. The feeling that the veracity of words couldn't even describe.



I thought that it becomes easier over time.

That managing will no longer be a problem and forgetting will be the next part of the journey. But it's not.

No matter where I look or go, the memories of you linger on.

Acceptance is key, but to which door?

I have already accepted the fact that you have moved on and left me in my own pool of tears drowning, that I am ready to hate your mere existence and throw away all the things you have left me with. Alas, it's not working. Certainly not every day.

There's always this last string of hope that pushes me to think that maybe I could do something.

Maybe there's still a chance.

Maybe he still loves me.

Maybe he hasn't forgotten everything.

Maybe he'll be back.

Maybe there's room for just one more high.

I could be killed by these maybes.

And yet, I let it.

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